Fun with consumer electronics

I don't seem to have much in the way of problems with setting up home electronics (I've even been referred to as a "machine empath" by friends), but I know that I'm not the norm in that respect. So, while I found this bit from the Onion chuckle-worthy, I'm sure some of you will just get a big kick out of it. Be forewarned, it contains more than a fair bit of colorful language... in fact, that's a fair bit of the point of the piece. Enjoy!