More family surprises

Thanks to the COVID-19 silliness abounding, we decided to do a small, family-only graveside service, which happened yesterday, to be followed by a larger memorial service at a later date.  When my brother showed up, he had two children with him, as expected... except I only recognized one of them.  You see, I was expecting my niece and nephew to show up with him, and instead it was my nephew and some strange boy.  While I was trying to wrap my head around why my nephew would invite a friend along to a funeral, never mind why such a theoretical friend would agree to come along, somebody introduced them to the pastor as the nephew and niece in question... which initially made me think that the niece had made some changes in haircut, garb, and so on, in the name of simplicity while dealing with coronavirus isolation.  But the truth was verified during a post-funeral get-together of the adults, that they are now "trans", choosing a new name for themselves and all.

Now, this is the part where anybody that doesn't know me might expect some homophobic rant to show up, but that's (hopefully) not what I expect to happen.  In broad strokes, I don't have any issues with the vast majority of the whole LGBTQ+ "spectrum" (or whatever it's called these days), because most of it boils down to "you love who you love", and, as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult, that makes it None of My Business.

That "T" part, on the other hand, is a bit of a different matter.  I realize full well that being perceived as male or female has significant societal impacts, but that doesn't erase the biological underpinnings that social structure is overlaid upon.  Since I can practically hear the howls of indignation already, let me add that I don't care about any arguments to the tune of "it's not just XX/XY genetics" (since that's the preponderance, and anybody with unusual combinations is likely sterile, and should just be thankful that their cells are robust enough to survive), or any "if I can't bear a child, you think I'm not a woman" nonsense.  How you present matters, on a biological level, and to present otherwise is an attempt to deceive the senses of your fellow humans.

Mind you, that's not necessarily a bad thing, nor is it at all an unnatural thing.  Just as one example, here's a cuttlefish that can go "half and half" to both appeal to a female and not trigger a rivalry response from another nearby male.  But, since we're talking about humans and deception, the next place I have to go is motivation, and that's going to vary from one person to the next.  Some motivations I can understand and accept, some more readily than others... in the case of my niece, they had told my sister at some point in the past that they didn't like being a girl.  It's a bit of a step from that to "I'm going to be a boy instead", but it's not outside of the realm of reason, especially given the social advantages of being male in many situations.  It still strikes me as being something on the same spectrum as being Otherkin, but if they're willing to put in the work to pass for male, which they definitely are at the moment, more power to them.

That said, I have also seen a number of trans people who do a relatively poor job of presenting as the gender they want to be seen as, then get bitterly offended if you don't refer to them in the manner they expect and, frankly, demand.  To them, I can only say it's on you to pull off the deception... I don't care about the context, any time anybody comes to me and asks me "who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?" it's going to be my eyes, 100%.

So, having put all that down, where do I stand on trans people?  In the case of my niece, I know them, love them, and trust them, so, all else being equal, we should be fine.  Everybody else, well, I simply don't do unconditional trust, so, without knowing the why behind the choice, it's going to be more difficult.  We can still get to know one another, and the why of who we both are, but I know I at least won't promise more than that.

So, yeah, my mom died last night.

It's strange, how different this is from when my dad died 13 years ago.  Then, I was absolutely gutted.  Now, I'm still sad, and can still be brought to the verge of tears by pretty much anything that brings her to mind... but I'm basically OK with the whole thing, as far as I can tell.  Is it just changes in me over these many years?  Maybe it's because I couldn't watch her die, courtesy of COVID-19 restrictions at her nursing home?  Maybe it's because I was able to do a "window visit" with her at that same nursing home less than a week ago?  Maybe it's because her body slowly failed her, but left her mind pretty well intact up to the last straw stroke a few days back?  Maybe it's because, after the better part of three years, she doesn't have to endure the nursing home any longer, a hellish environment for anyone with an intact mind?  Heck, maybe it's just because I've had pets die on me in the meantime, helping to cement the "this is normal and expected" sentiment beyond just my rational side.

Well, whatever the reason, I'll take my current state, even if it means I have to work to silence the niggling guilt that I'm not grieving for her "as hard" as I was for my dad back then.  Adieu, maman.

Backlog progress

Apart from posting my disappointment about Star Wars IX, it's been a month since my last post.  That's how long it took me to play Diablo III start to finish in "campaign" mode, and I rather enjoyed it.  It might not have the flexibility of choice in setting up your powers that a game like Path of Exile has, but it does have a decent variety of opponents to slaughter, plus a storyline that can only be called epic.  It's also mostly-serious, but not entirely opposed to a little silliness... for example, the mage I was playing, earlier in the game, acquired a disco ball to use as a spell source, and much of the late game he was using a "pig sticker" for a weapon that actually squealed like a pig when you used it - annoying, but worth it for the stats.  In all, the only real weakness to the game was the selection of powers you could unlock, since the game's primarily-horde-tactics approach makes some choices inherently better than others... but, in the mage's case, that still meant I got to unleash my inner Palpatine with some chain lightning, so it's not all bad.

That's not the only game I played, though... I also picked up Clubhouse Games for my Switch, and got a few sessions in on that.  The games I've played are all pretty well done... but I'm hoping for a patch to help with network stability.  It's hard enough to come up with a 4-player game of Riichi Mahjong without weird slowdowns and players dropping out mid-game.

On the watchables side, I've gotten some use out of Disney+ outside of that one disappointing film, but I'll try to keep it brief.  Avengers: End Game was a fun romp, with plenty of action but not entirely so.  Onward is a lovely Pixar movie that I quite enjoyed, but then I'm also a huge D&D nerd.  A Wrinkle in Time suffers the fate of many book adaptations, compounded by the need to trim it to a "kid-friendly" viewing length.  Finally, I've dipped my toes into both The Mandalorian and The Clone Wars, liked them both enough to watchlist, but that's about it so far.

Next on the XBox One backlog looks to be Divinity: Original Sin.  As I recall, the main issue I had with that game was that it would have been better with a second human player, given the way it's designed... but short of re-buying it on Steam, then bullying someone into playing it with me using their "remote couch co-op" feature, whatever it's actually called, that's not going to happen, so, time to give it a proper go solo.

Star Wars IX was... disappointing.

I did subscribe to Disney+, and so, of course, I queued up the latest Star Wars flick.  I'd heard there was some disappointment in the fan base over it, but I pretty well assumed it was the standard "not what we expected/hoped for" thing.  What I didn't expect was a barely-coherent, poorly paced film like this one making it into public view with the Star Wars name attached to it.  I mean, there were times where I thought I was watching the modern equivalent of one of those '70s knock-off films.  Oh well, at least that finally puts the main series to rest, these 40-odd years later.

Another week of staying home down...

...and more progress made on the ol' entertainment backlog!  Just polished off what I was looking to accomplish in Borderlands 2, more or less, and I rather enjoyed it, for the most part.  Mind you, I did start from a previous save that was a fair ways into the main story... one of the advantages of shooters, it's not like you generally have to relearn a whole lot of controls or anything to do reasonably well in them.  If you haven't played any of this series of games, Borderlands 2 is a decent place to jump in.  Also, if you're a D&D player, and you ever had any doubt about how terrifying a Mimic can be, the "Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep" DLC is definitely worth a go... or, you know, look it up on YouTube.  Sadly, that's what I had to do to see the ending on that DLC, since I hit a bug where the game was demanding "all players must be present" to continue, even though I was playing single-player... and considering the game's been out since 2012, a game-stopping bug like that being present is simply sad.

So, yeah, that's it for Borderlands 2.  I might have stuck it out a bit longer without that bug, but probably not.  I could move on to the "pre-sequel" game they released later on, but I never really did care for the low-gravity, low-atmosphere mechanics involved in that game, so next looks to be giving Diablo III another go... it will at least be interesting to see how it feels after having played Path of Exile.

Games aside, I also finally got around to watching The World's End.  I caught it in a 3-pack Blu-Ray disc set along with Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, both of which I quite enjoyed.  As I recall, when The World's End came out, initial reaction was that it was okay, but nowhere near as good as the other two films.  I'm going to guess that a lot of those people either didn't care for the ending, or got the main twist in the story spoiled for them before they hit the theater.  I went in blind, found the first part of the film to be as cringe-worthy as intended, and was caught entirely off-guard by the twist that shapes the rest of the film, so I rather enjoyed it... not the best ending, but try not to let perfect be the enemy of good, or something like that.

Next on the watchables list?  Well, I did get gifted a copy of Parasite that I could watch, and I'm sure I will at some point... but, frankly, I'm still rather in a "light entertainment" sort of mood, so, fair odds, I'll be subscribing to Disney+ before long.  At the very least, I've got the last Star Wars film, the last Avengers film, and one or two oddities that should be caught up on, and what better time than now?

Games catch-up

Well, I've certainly been giving Board Game Arena a workout, and I don't see that changing any time soon... but man cannot live by online board games alone!  So, what other amusements have I found recently?

I just finished my month's-worth of XBox Games Pass, for starters.  Gave several games a go, each of which fell in the category of "looks/sounds like fun, but not nearly enough so to make me buy them at/near launch."  Each of them fell comfortably in that "yeah, this is fine, but not something I'm willing to pay more to keep playing" zone, and nothing upcoming for that service jumped out at me as needing played, so that does for that.  Bit of a shame, really... Journey to the Savage Planet is one I expected to like more than I did, and then there's Nier: Automata.  Mechanically (har!) it's an OK game, but asking anybody to play through a game three times to get the whole story is a pretty big ask, especially in this Internet age... yes, I found videos online rather than keep playing through that game.  The only game in this batch that made me say "maybe later" was when I played some Phantasy Star Online 2... and the "maybe later" there was "maybe when it's on PC, so I don't have to pay for an XBox Gold membership to play."

So, that out of the way, next is diving into my XBox One backlog.  I've skipped all the Assassin's Creed games for now, being neither in the mood for "shadowy organizations facing off through the ages" nor the "genetic memory" shtick they keep using to tie those games to the modern day.  As such, I've gotten back in to Borderlands 2 for a bit of shootery fun... finished the main storyline with my main character, and I'm starting into the "Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep" DLC.  D&D with guns, what's not to like?

Outside of all that, I did get sucked into one other oddity.  Bargain Basement Bathysphere is a free print-and-play solo game, with a bit of a legacy twist (which is a little odd, considering "you died before making it back to the surface" is a likely end to any one game).  The introductory levels ate through my afternoon yesterday.  Still, ol' Snuffbox (that's what I named my bathysphere, at the prompting of the game) is ready to make another descent into the deeps, and I now have an "aquaseum" to hold the fish and squid samples I collect from here on out... I'm looking forward to what else I discover here (without reading ahead, naturally)!

Wait long enough, and others may create what you want for you.

Took a bit of looking for me to find it, but, way back in 2008, I posted a brief blurb about how I was thinking of building a little web-based online game structure, to play certain sorts of board games with your friends.  As is all too common in my case, I didn't have a terribly grand vision, and, after some thinking about the challenges involved, decided it was too much work for the reward involved, and let it go.  Over the years since, a number of online tabletop gaming options have come to the fore, but there's always been some nit I could pick about any of them, be that the selection of games, or the icky pirate aftertaste of various game knock-off sites, or maybe the fiddlyness of dealing with simulated board game components with a keyboard-and-mouse combination (looking at you, Table Top Simulator and Tabletopia).  My vision of a simple interface handling a number of commercial-style games didn't look to be in the cards (so to speak), so I forgot it and moved on to other things.

That changed a couple of days ago when, in a fit of covid-19-lockdown-inspired boredom, I went browsing through Mixer streaming channels on my XBox One, and stumbled across a stream of a few people playing a game called Kingdomino together online.  Watching the stream, it was clear that it was something on an app or website that wasn't explicitly named (just displaying an odd cloud-like logo in its title bar), but it was definitely using the commercial artwork from the game... yet the interface also looked to be very straightforward, so somebody put some work into the game.  Curious, since the streamers never mentioned the app or site when they were playing, I did a little Google-ing, and shortly came up with a website called Board Game Arena.

Board Game Arena is an amazing thing, for all it's a bit overloaded with all the other covid-quarantined people around at the moment.  On a technical level, somebody obviously came up with the same sort of idea I had so very long ago, but ran with it rather than letting it go.  Interactions go back to their server, get stored, and results redistributed to all players (and spectators, one thing I didn't even consider back in the day), which allows for reasonably real-time play (enforced by timers, another thing I never considered) and turns-per-day play as well.

Working our way out from the minutiae of game-state management, they dared dream and build on a far grander scale than I ever considered, allowing for who-knows-how-many thousands or millions of players, with poor behavior reined in by a reputation system, and with per-game rankings of the various players based on how they perform.  They already have 175 games on their site, including some I would call "heavy hitters" from the commercial world... and all the commercial games that are present are there with the express permission of the publishers, so they're generally built with the actual art assets of the original games, and usually have links to the PDF of the rulebooks, among other aids for people who need a brush-up or haven't learned the game yet... and the state-storing nature of the system lets them build tutorials for players to go through, if they wish.

Even the inevitable "premium account" system is fairly benign, compared to what I've seen elsewhere... basically, for all some of the games on the site are considered "premium", all that means is that a premium member has to start the game.  If you're fine playing with random people, that means you don't have to pony up for premium yourself unless you want to try to play something more obscure that hardly anybody else is looking to play.  If, on the other hand, you want to play "premium" games with just your friends, then one of you needs to have a premium account to start the game, and everybody else joins in afterwards.  Outside of that, premium just looks to give you some relatively-minor perks (like choosing the color of your pieces, for example)... and the cost is palatable at 4 euros per month, but even more so if you buy the annual subscription instead, at 50% of the regular cost.

So, yeah, I haven't found any urgent reason to upgrade to a paid subscription so far, since playing for free is quick and easy.  I'd suggest giving it a go if you're at all interested in board games... and of course, if you stick around, friend me up!  As always, I am 'delRhode' there as well.